April 1st, 4038
by Dorthy Dabbledots

Bertal Einthorne

Happy Bertal Einthorne Day! As always, I will spend the day on the Ematica campus. I have been asked to judge the annual Wormhole Competition, which I feel quite honored to have been chosen. What dear Headmaster Higginsworth would say now! In celebration of the discovery of how to harness Phantom Energy, which theoretically allows us to build transverseable wormholes, Ematica has a wonderful carnival and competition for the Bertal Einthorne Cup. Bertal Einthorne, of course, is who, through a harrowing journey of failed experiments and theories, was able to finally contain Phantom Energy and use it to travel successfully through a wormhole.

I remember having the best model with dimensional hold, which used radiating Phantom Energy and winning the coveted Einthorne Cup during my days at Ematica. I was quite proud of my accomplishment until recently when I happened to see a first year student in the competition. Trip Harrison’s model had dimensional hold that used minimal Phantom Energy and also had dual portals to the future and the past. A complex idea and a risky attempt which paid off for Mr. Harrison who won first place and whose model still hangs in the Ematica Hall of Scientific Excellence.

Risk, a beautifully complex idea and fearlessness are what Bertal Einthorne Day is all about. Its namesake risked everything for us to be able to travel through time and space. Time and space such unnecessarily over complicated ideas for humans in the 22nd century. Perchance if their ideas were not so intertwined with arbitrary notions of mythology, traveling through wormholes would have occurred much sooner, but I suppose hindsight is ten-ten. Or is that ancient saying twenty-fifteen. I forget. (Oh how I love ancient metaphors!) Nevertheless, Einthorne was able to weed through it all and able to focus on what was then theoretical physics.

Although Einthorne’s personal history is incomplete in the ancient book of record, we do have countless lab books containing work far beyond his time. What’s more, Torres, his trusty science assistant was as mysterious as Life’s Origin.  He  was not willing to disclose much about himself or his mentor and has since disappeared from existence. I have asked several prominent professors at Ematica of Torres and Einthorne’s history to which I get blank stares and incomplete responses. I suppose their lives are as elusive as their discoveries. But I have always wondered where (some may say when) they are from and how their origin contributed to Einthorne’s discovery.

What we do know is that the planet known as Earth had devolved into a farming society after mass war and famine and they longed to leave the planet they had destroyed for one that more resembled their beloved Earth. According to legend, in the year 2472, Bertal Einthorne happened to be conducting a few experiments on the planet Earth with a simple drink; I believe it was called champagne. In playing with the cork, a light bulb went off (two ancient metaphors in one article; how I do enjoy myself).  He realized two things:
1.

2. If space-time contains a compact region Ω, and if the topology of Ω is of the form Ω ~ R x Σ, where Σ is a three-manifold of nontrivial topology, whose boundary has topology of the form dΣ ~ S², and if furthermore the hypersurfaces Σ are all space like, then the region Ω contains a quasipermanent intra-universe wormhole.

Kindergarten physics you say… YES! Now, of course, any 5 year old can tell you those two facts, but the real genius was in third discovery.

3.  The grandfather paradox may not exist because of the seemingly indeterminable particles at the Universe’s End.

True, the location and origin of the Universe’s End is unknown and its exact details are only known to a few but the existence of transversable wormholes are all the proof we need. Many a great archaeophysicists have spent a lifetime looking for the Universe’s End.  Even I tried for a few years but it was too elusive. I leave that hunt for the young and foolish.

Myths ruminate stating that beings from the future visited our forefathers with the knowledge we possess and helped them discover what was necessary for deep space travel and wormhole technology. Ancient books do allude to this possibility but is that not just another paradox which stumped those in the 23rd century?

No matter how Bertal Einthorne attained his knowledge or how we did, it is an absolutely astounding discovery, worthy of a celebration! It is truly amazing what the human mind is capable of understanding and creating, if only we remember that our capacity to meet challenges is limitless.

As always and until next time, remember to “stay hungry, stay foolish.”

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